Shit like Family Circus doesn't make me laugh. That makes milk crawl up my nose. Like there's one, where the little ginger girl with the ponytail is standing in a field looking at a butterfly, and she says "I like butterflies. They don't sting or bite, they just flutter". What the fuck?
The caption should have been "Oooh shit, I thought that enema would never come out". (I stole that, just so you know.. from http://www.cracked.com/blog/pg13-family-circus/ it's hilarious.) Anyway, if you read that, you'll know I have a sick, sick sense of humour.
I love dead baby jokes. And abortion jokes. And racist jokes. It's pretty easy to make me laugh. Unless you write Family Circus.
This is a request from Alexia, asking "Do a blog about your abortion jokes!". I don't have any abortion jokes. I have a joke that is about both dead babies and abortions.
Here goes.
Q: What's red and crawling up your leg?
A: An abortion with homesickness.
Q: How do you fit 30 babies in a bucket?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
Q: What's more fun than swinging a baby around at 250 mph on a clothes line?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.
Q: Why did the foetus cross the road?
A: Because they moved the dumpster.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Take your foot off its head.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead!
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth!
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: What do you get when you cut a baby into pieces?
A: An erection.
Q: What's the worst thing about having sex with a dead baby?
A: Wiping the blood off your clown suit.
I fucking told you.
P.S. I stole ALL of this from http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/dbj_022.htm
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