Insults

Ok, so you know my best friend Alexia? Well we were posting things on each other's walls (instead of having a facebook chat conversation, for some reason), and she called me a bitch (it happens), and I could legitimately not think of a comeback. This shocked me deeply.
So I googled "One word insults". And I came upon a site. It was just a person that was asking what the best insults were, and a bunch of people commented. I found the mother of all insults.

Douchemonger. I didn't know what it meant, but I loved it. So I went on Urban Dictionary, and apparently it has 2 meanings: 1. One who hordes douches. hordes douches. 2. A douche. Times 10.

This is officially my new favourite insult. In fact, I included the word in my latest facebook status. And I think carefully about what I post as my status. (unlike some people...)

So this led me to think that perhaps I should post a blog about my favourite insults:

1. Douchemonger. I've already explained that.

2. Bint. It's kind of like a tart. I never use it, because I don't enjoy calling people slutty, but it's pretty awesome.

3. Cocksucker. You can see why. It just feels right in my mouth.        That didn't sound right.

4. Douche. This is just a really good insult all around. It's not necessarily a swear, so I can say it around my parents, but it's also insulting. It's just right.

5. Pussy. This doesn't get to be used as much as douche, since, for one thing, I cannot say this around my parents, and sometimes, someone isn't actually being a pussy. They're just being a douche.

6. Slut. It's just bint. But not as fun a word. But you can't really say binty, you have to say slutty. And plus, not everyone knows what a bint is. In fact, every time I type bint, little red dots appear under it. But apparently slut is a word. No red dots. Maybe because it's in the Iliad. Helen calls herself a slut. It made me laugh.

7. Testicle. My friend R***** is an all around douche. But he's so fucking hilarious, that I can't not be friends with him. So I was discussing what his new insult should be, because douche had been worn out on him. I decided on sodding testicle. It was perfect.

8. Cumdumpster. This is also one of those words that has little red dots under it. Anyway, it's better than slut, because one, it's way more fun to say, and two, it's far more insulting.

That is all. Keep these amazing insults in mind for future arguments. If you can think of more, comment.